7.  Nit-picking and niggling.  Before you go into divorce negotiations, make a list of your priorities.  It is expensive and counterproductive to engage in divorce litigation over an extra hour or two of placement, or over possession of inexpensive pieces of personal property, no matter what the sentimental value.

 

6.  Get arrested.  If a person going through a divorce is going to be arrested, it will most likely be for domestic violence offenses or for operting under the influence of alcohol.  Once the divorce is started, it is utterly counterproductive to argue with one another.  If the police are called, someone will be arrested, and it will usually be the man.  Once you have a criminal charge pending, complete with conditions of bond that prohibit contact with your spouse, you have created a road-block for yourself that may be nearly insurmountable.  Similarly, don't allow your new-found freedom to drive you over the edge.  A drunken driving charge creates similar obstacles.

 

5.  Fighting the GAL.   The guardian ad litem is a lawyer, hand chosen by the judge, to investigate the circumstances of the case, and to make a recommendation to the court as to what is in the best interests of the children.  The judges place great weight in the opinion of the guardian.  It is a fatal mistake, then, to take an adversarial approach with the guardian.   You may as well come to court and curse directly at the judge.

 

4.  Give away the farm.  Some people, especially those who are unrepresented by counsel in a divorce, are inclined to give away the farm in negotiations.   There are various motives for doing this.  They may truly believe that no price is too great to be rid of their spouse.  Others are motivated by the guilt of infidelity.   Either way, it is a very bad idea to agree to a property division, child support order, or a maintenance order that is not objectively fair under the law.  The emotional agony will subside with time.   The judgment is permanent.